Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
