i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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