using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
