we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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