All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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