they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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