I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
