After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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