Your mouth is God's brothel.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
