the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
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