just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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