oh god the rape fog is back!
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
