Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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