I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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