so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
