2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
