Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
