"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
