Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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