What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
