i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
