i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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