hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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