So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
