Whatcha textin bout Willis?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Girls should come with a carfax report
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The air was thick with penises
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
