dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I can't turn off my feet"
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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