my phone cant type all the emotion im having
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
