Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
the raccoons are back...
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