I wanna bring you to show and tell
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
