So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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