the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
The adults are the big ones right?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
