you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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