Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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