THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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