On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
