just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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