Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
