forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
