You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
It's just like the Real World with babies
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
