love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
