you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
im drinking this country out of the recession.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
