Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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