Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
She has the best kind of daddy issues
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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