She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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