hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
