PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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