Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
We got so high we made milksteak
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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