Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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