hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize