She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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