sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
