I want to make a zoo with you.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
