I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
